He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
