Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
porn star boner night. come get it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
you made out with another girl for some wings
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize