I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
