butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
