He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I need a beard to bite.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
