I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
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