dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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