I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
