Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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