You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
