He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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