I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
