yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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