If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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