woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
