I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize