i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There r osticjed everywhere
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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