Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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