I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
