you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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