Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
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Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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