youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
