Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
