You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There r osticjed everywhere
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
