so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
