Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
