I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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