I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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