dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
