you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize