did you get engaged???
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
two words...techno handjob
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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