party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
