Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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