im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
