false alarm. still invincible.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
