Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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