Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
