i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
