your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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