whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
