apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
please don't ironically join a cult
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