He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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