im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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