i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
