he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize