After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
