We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
