her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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