I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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