brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
