I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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