My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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