I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
