i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
