ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
