chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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