I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
