The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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