This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Alive.
So much puke
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
