I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
