Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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