M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
