Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
