She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
