You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We had sex on a dog bed..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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