So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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