I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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