These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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