whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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