I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
