If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
