Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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